


Inside the Walls of Your Heart

by animesponge



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: F/F, F/M, Multi
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-16
Updated: 2021-02-16
Packaged: 2021-03-18 07:20:23
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 947
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29485896
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/animesponge/pseuds/animesponge
Summary: Mikasa struggles to keep her life together as she battles against injury and heartbreak. She reminisces on the past, specifically the passing and the aftermath of her lover, Sasha Braus. In an AU where Mikasa was the target of Gabi's bullet and Sasha shielded her, how will Jean, Connie, and Armin help the Ackerman cope?
Relationships: Mikasa Ackerman/Sasha Blouse
Comments: 2
Kudos: 24





	Inside the Walls of Your Heart

**Author's Note:**

> This takes place in an AU where Mikasa was standing in place of Sasha. She still suffered an unrelated injury. The story picks up at the beginning of chapter 107 of the AOT Manga.

“Mikasa, I love you.”  
Those were the last words that Mikasa heard from Sasha Braus. The last words her lover would ever say. And the last thing she could remember. The last thing she could remember before her world came crashing down.

“Mikasa. wake up.” It was very early in the morning and Jean spoke softly, tapping her arm lightly, trying to awaken her as gently as possible. His hair was messy, he had bags under his eyes, and he smelt like he hadn’t showered in days. Yet he wore a smile, and a tired Mikasa watched as he picked up a paper bag and gingerly pulled out two sandwiches.  
“Look Mikasa. I know you hate these sandwiches but the guy had a veggie one and I thought that-”  
“Thanks for getting me breakfast Jean.” Mikasa cut him off, smiling softly, and Jean gave her a funny look He couldn't remember the last time he had seen her smile.  
“What happened to these cheap breakfast sandwiches being disgusting food for the devils?” Jean asked, smirking. 

“We’re Eldians. Of course we eat the food of the devils.” Mikasa answered in a monotone voice.  
Jean chuckled and then handed Mikasa her food before sitting down on the chair next to the bed. Mikasa sat up straight in the hospital bed, as they both  
ate in silence. Jean’s chewing was very loud, and Mikasa couldn’t help but stare. She thought to herself,  
‘He kind of.... looks like a horse when he eats like that.’  
The thought made her laugh. She quickly regretted this as pain flared in her gut and she dropped her breakfast sandwich. Jean leapt up and ran over to her side. “I-I’m fine Jean.” Mikasa stuttered. She slumped back down in the hospital bed. He stared at her for a second, before picking the dirty sandwich off the ground and throwing it into the trash. Jean sat back down. 

“I can go get you another one if you like.” He said softly, in a raspy. sleepy voice.  
Mikasa stared at Jean for a few seconds. She could tell he was tired.  
Every day of the last 5 months since “the incident,” he would wake up every morning, at around six AM to wake her up, making sure she had something to eat. He slept on the small couch in the corner of the room, opposite the chair he would sit in.  
Jean helped her through physical therapy and the thing that meant the most to her was that he’d comfort her when the nightmares came. And boy oh boy, they came often.

“It’s okay Jean. I’m not very hungry,” Mikasa said quietly, and she paused before continuing.  
“Go home. Take a shower. Eat a real meal.”  
Jean sighed.  
“We’ve had this conversation multiple times. I’m not leaving you here by yourself with just the doctors. Not happening.” Jean said, with fire in his voice. Mikasa sat back up. Her body told her no, and her injured leg didn’t appreciate the sudden movement.  
She winced as pain pulsed through her leg. Jean took notice of this and shook his head.  
“I don’t need you to be my guardian angel Jean. Stop trying to act like I need to be protected. I made it out of the ship didn’t I?” Mikasa's words were full of venom, and her eyes of tears.  
“I can’t see you like this. I’m begging.”  
Jean looked at Mikasa, tears in his eyes.  
“Please, just have Connie come in instead.” Jean’s sad expression shifted to one of anger. “Have you gone mental?! I can’t ask him to do that. He could barely handle looking at you when we brought you to the hospital. What makes you think he’ll want to show up to care for you every day?” Jean replied, knowing he’d regret this statement later. 

But whatever bond Mikasa and Connie had before had been destroyed, and it unrepairable. “I d-don’t care what C-Connie thinks about me,” Mikasa stuttered.  
“But I won’t let Sasha’s death be in vain. She died for me. I’m beyond help. Look at me Jean,” Jean picked up his head, as he had been staring at the floor, letting his tears fall. “I miss Sasha just as much as you do. It hurts me just like it hurts you. I don’t care if it destroys me. But I can’t sit by and watch it destroy you and Connie.” she spoke honestly, and Jean did not even make an attempt to act like he wasn't touched. He made an attempt at a small smile, but his expression broke as he burst into more tears. 

She couldn’t remember what Jean said after. Hell, she couldn't even remember what had happened during the day. She must have gone to physical therapy, but she didn't remember Jean being there. The nurses wouldn’t have let her skip out on it. Why would they? She’d been performing amazing with Jean’s help. He and Armin, who showed up occasionally, were amazing at motivating Mikasa to push herself and get back to normal. And so she lied there in the Hospital bed, legs sore, tired from physical therapy, hoping she wouldn’t fall asleep.  
But it got later and later, and she grew more tired with each minute passed. As she drifted to sleep, it played in her head. Over and over again. The nightmare. And this time she didn’t have her guardian angel to protect her from the demons.  
“Sasha. I’m s-so sorry,” Mikasa could barely manage a whisper as she succumbed to fatigue. And she prepared to relive her greatest heartbreak as she fell into a deep slumber, where the nightmare she feared so badly awaited her.

**Author's Note:**

> Authors Note - This chapter was super short! All the ones following this will be much longer. I aim to have them around 2k words per chapter. I plan to release one chapter every two weeks, and the chapters will switch between the present day and the past. Thank you for reading chapter one!


End file.
